immoral seducement
by perko23
Summary: When the perfect Ashley Kerwin has a secret, will she tell and ruin her family or will she keep it? ---please r/r
1. Default Chapter

(I do not own these characters. The storyplot loosly deals with things that has happened on the show, though this to diffrent characters. This is my first real Fan Fict. And yes i know the Vocabulary could be better, but yoou'll understand what i was trying to get through. Please R/R!!)  
  
The moon was coming up, as she sat sat on her windowsill. Her face was pressed up against the glass as a silent tear ruined her once perfectly applied mascara. The cool glass felt good on her hot head. Nobody could possibly understand the pain she was in, nobody. She sighed, knowing she shouldn't stay on the windowsill all night she got down and walked to her computer, logging on.  
  
Spinner:: hey chica whats up?  
  
pictureperfect: Fuck you spinner...  
  
Spinner:: whoa, ashley. THE ashley just swore! lets mark this day in history!!  
  
pictureperfect: Spinner, please i don't want to talk.  
  
Spinner:: Are you sure about that?  
  
pictureperfect: yes im sure... i just don't want to talk  
  
Spinner:: Why ashley, whats going on?  
  
Ashley quickly logged off and sighed sitting in her computer chair, pulling her knees to her chest, and started to cry again.  
  
"whats wrong?" It was Toby, interupting again.  
  
"Nothing Tobs, its nothing..." She lied to him, out of all the times she had lied to him, why did she have to lie to him this once? Ashley wanted to tell someone, anyone. Well, anybody but her parents. Toby shrugged his shoulders, and left Ashleys room, slamming the door behind him. Ashley fell back into her bed, buring her head in her pillow and cried.  
  
++FLASHBACK++  
  
"Come on ash, you know you wanna!" He urged her. Pushing her back against the wall.  
  
"No.. no i don't.." Ashley had had enough, she was being put under to much pressure, to many decisons. Just too much.  
  
"Yes you do, i can see it in your eyes" The strong whiskey he had just drinken was perspiring through his skin leaving a foul odor on him and his breath. She turned her head to the side trying to avoid the smell.  
  
"No!" Ashley said firmly. She was trying to wiggle out of his grasp but it was to strong. There was nothing she could've done now. She couldn't move from his grasp, she couldn't scream, nobody would've heard her anyways, it would have been just a waste of breath.  
  
++End of Flashback++  
  
Ashley lie there, still crying. Nobody but Toby in the house to hear her sobs. But frankly he could've cared less why she was crying. Tobys father had left the hour before, just as Toby had come walking in, drunk as a skunk, but it had been like that for weeks, it was nothing new to him now. She cried herself to sleep that night, one thing running through her mind. "why did Jeff do that to me today? Did i deserve it?"  
  
(Author Note: If you have no idea what Ashley is talking about here it is. Jeff had raped her that day, when he was drunk and nobody else knows about it)  
  
((Will ashley ever tell anyone? Or will she keep it a dark secret?? If i get bad reviews i'm going to discontinue the story, but if you like it tell me in the review!!) 


	2. Chapter Two

((Disclamer: I do not own any of the characters on Degrassi, nor do i own Degrassi. This chapter is a little choppy yes i know... It's in the morning here and i HAVE to get this chapter done before it drives me crazy. So, the vocabulary sucks but you'll see what i'm trying to say.))  
  
" I love you too" She hung up the phone, finally after an hour of conversation with her boyfriend Jimmy. She ran her fingers through her knotted hair, wondering if she had done the right thing.  
  
She looked out the window, watching the rain hit the side of the window. She sighed and sat on her window-sill. The same place where she was last night. She would have cried, if she had the will-power to. But even if she did have the will-power, there were no tears left to cry.  
  
She reached over and began to write in her diary:  
  
Diary,  
  
I'm not sure if i should tell anybody what happened to me last night. But it really wasn't his fault, i mean he was drunk!! I'm not going to name any names, but he wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been in the condition he was in... I don't know what to do, i am at a loss... What am i going to tell Jimmy?? ~~Ash~~  
  
It was a short diary entry, and she knew it, but there wasn't much that she could say. What was done was done. --  
  
Her thoughts were interupted by her mother, calling Toby and Ashley down for breakfast.  
  
Ashley sighed, not in the mood to eat, but she couldn't just blow it off. Then they'd know that something was wrong. Sure she was crying all last night, but she could blame that on her period.  
  
She set her diary down on her end table, exposed, not where she usually hid her diary. She walked down-stairs, not knowing that her brother, Toby, had gone into her room after she had left. Grabbing her diary.  
  
"Yeah kate, i'll be down in a minute!!" Toby shouted back to Kate who had called him again. He flipped through a few pages, trying to find the most recent one written. "YES!" He said quietly, seeing she had written in her diary again since yesterday morning. He quickly read what she had written a few minutes before, a look of confusion passing his face.  
  
After deciding that that diary entry probably wasn't a childish antic. He grabbed the diary and walked downstairs with it. He sat at he seat at the breakfast table, throwing the diary into the lap of ashley. He whispered silently to her "Ashley, we need to talk"  
  
((Yes i know that it was a short chapter, but i h ad to get it done before i forgot. If i get good reviews i'll continue the story. Though if you want to flame it go ahead..)) 


	3. Chapter Three

(Disclaimer: i do not own degrassi, nor do i own any of the characters involved.. I'd like to also add that this is Chapter 3 of my very first ff ever. And i'm not in as a creative mood as i was before, so do not mind the errors, because i'm sure there will be plenty. Also if you see something that anything wrong, tell me in the review please)  
  
Ashleys jaw dropped as soon as Toby showed her the diary.  
  
"Kids, i'll be back in a few minutes. I have to run to the Brooks' to borrow some flour" Kate called from the next room. Kate new that she probably wouldn't get any flour from them. They barely had time for Jimmy, what would make Mrs. Brooks want to bake a cake? She had to try anyways, she had to get the cake made before Jeff came home from work...  
  
As soon as the door slammed, Ashley broke away from her icy glare. "No Toby, there is nothing that WE need to talk about!" Sheslapped him on the side of the head with her diary. "And don't you ever go through my stuff again!" She quickly added before heading back upstairs.  
  
Unfortunatly for Ashley, Toby was a persistent person, so of course he followed her.  
  
"Yes there is, there is always something wrong. But this is serious. What's going on Ash?" They both stopped at the top of the stairs, Ashley giving another glare, while Toby looked up at her with an angelic like face, as if he really cared.  
  
Ashley didn't say another word. She simply went into her room and closed the door quickly behind her, quietly turning the lock on the handle. Leaning her back against the door and sliding slowly down, she stayed that way until she fell asleep... hours later.  
  
++ASHLEYS DREAM++ (A/N:: Imagine this dream with backround music similar to Down with the Sickness by Disturbed)  
  
The colors of gray were swirling into one big black blob. Her airway felt blocked, as if someone was choking her... but no body was there. She couldn't move, she was being heald down. With each guiding second the pain became worse and worse, all throughout her body. Soon the colors became black and nothing could be distinguished. Screams of another person heard faintly in the backround, realizing that they were only her own being heard by nobody....  
  
++END OF DREAM++  
  
(A/N: Again, another short chapter.... if your a flamer, go ahead and flame away. But if you have any suggestions for the next chapter, go ahead and either e-mail them to me at lil_n_perkish@msn.com or just put the idea in the review.. i have an idea of where i want to take this... it's just actually getting it threre) 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, i've just borrowed the characters.  
  
The alarm-clock showed 2:42 am, when Ashley had awoken from her nightmare. There on her bed she sat, rocking back and forth. A stedy, yet slow, stream of tears ran down both of her cheeks. She glanced at her telephone, and dialed slowly.  
  
"Hello?" A groggy voice awnsered questiongly.  
  
Ashley paused before awnsering. "...i need you"  
  
Hearing those words, Jimmy was now fully awake. "Are you okay? Ash, whats going on?"  
  
"I need to be with you. Can i come over?"  
  
"Right now? Ash, it's like 3 in the morning"  
  
Ahsley nodded at his response. "yeah" Her voice was soft, not at all hiding that something really was the matter. "now, can i?"  
  
"Of course. I'll see you in a few."  
  
Ashley hung up the phone, back onto the reciever. She stood up from her bed and searched around for her shoes. Slipping them on quietly, she grabbed a lightweight jacket. She slipped out of her bedroom, quietly going down the stairs, skipping the ones that creaked. Ashley unlocked the door and slipped out, quickly walking towards Jimmys house.  
  
He was waiting at the door anxiously. As soon as he saw her walking down the sidewalk towards him, he met her. As soon as Ashley and Jimmy reached each other, Ashley embraced Jimmy in a hug, resting her head on his shoulder., that's when she broke down in tears.  
  
They sat on the couch together. A long silence provailing between them. The ice was broken when Jimmy simply asked "Are you alright?"  
  
Ashley sat there, leaning against him for a long time. She replied, but not in words. She just shook her head no.  
  
Again it was silent, Ashley didn't mind, just being with Jimmy made the mental strain go away. Jimmy, on the other hand had no idea what was going on... and needed to know, even if it wasn't at all serious, he needed to know.  
  
Ashley evenetually fell asleep on Jimmys shoulder. He waited a while before moving, gently laying her on the couch and putting a blanket over her. Jimmy brushed the hair out of Ashleys face and watched her sleep for a few minutes, before kissing her on the cheek and whispering softley "good-night ashley." Jimmy grabbed another blanket and couch pillow and layed on the floor next to the couch. He didn't fall asleep, he lye there for the rest of the night, wondering what was the matter with Ashley.  
  
(Will Ashley really tell Jimmy whats going on?? Or will she make an alibi? ...find out in chapter 5!!) 


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the Degrassi characters. Therefore I'm just borrowing them  
  
A//N: I've put this story away for a long time, but I've decided to pick it back up again. So if you need to reread the chapters, feel free.  
  
Jimmy sat up and looked at the mantel clock. 6 AM. The creaking upstairs from his parents walking around, to him was just a noise in the distance. To him, his parents weren't as important as Ashley was at that exact moment. What was going on? Why was she being so secretive? The thoughts were jumbled up in his mind, and no answers. It drove him insane.  
  
Thank god it was a holiday. They could be together for the rest of the day. But would it get better?  
  
His parents walked out the door moments later, not even paying attention that their teenage son had slept in the same room with his serious teenage girlfriend. 'God," Jimmy thought, "do they really not care?" He had his own problems, but he always put them aside for her. not for anybody else. but for her.  
  
Jimmy stood up and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving her to sleep longer. He looked at the calendar on the bulletin board. Jeff's birthday. It was today. He wondered if Ashley had remembered, they had had plans to go with him to a golf game. It was going to be a boring day, but it's what Jeff really loved, they owed it to him for his birthday.  
  
Jimmy walked back into the living room, expecting to still see Ashley sleeping. But she wasn't. There she sat on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. Afraid.  
  
"Ash, come on. we gotta get going to your place" He walked slowly to her, offering a hand out to help her up.  
  
"No!" She said quickly. "No, I think we should go when mom gets home from work." She corrected herself quickly. "That way we don't have to hand around all day."  
  
"Okay?" He questioned, not wanting to argue. Obviously something was going on that he didn't know about. The question was, was how to get her to say anything without her knowing she's saying anything.  
  
Ashley still sat on the floor. She was looking up at Jimmy, half a smile. relief and the other half regret, lies. sorrow grief. He saw. He knew.  
  
"Please, tell me what this is about." Despite his plan of being secretive he decided to be blunt. "Ashley, I love you. no matter what."  
  
Ashley look down at the floor and back up to him with tears in her eyes. It was moments before she looked up at him. "Have a seat." She said finally. "You don't want to be standing."  
  
A//N: Cliffhangers are so fun! I'll write more soon. Please R//R. Flamers welcome, although don't hate on the vocab and grammer. Good reviews get a continued story. 


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